A Girl's Thoughts

Am I just imagining all of this? Is it just happening in my head? Or am I wrong? My heart says yes, my head says no. It’s like devil and angel fighting with each other.

I know I have this strong feelings. I haven’t felt this way for years. I haven’t missed someone for a long time. I was just fine by myself. I was ok. I was alright. And then you walked into my life and messed it all up. Messed with my heart. Messed with my head. 24/7 my thoughts are with you. Do you think about me? Why don’t you text me back in more than three days? Did you go out and meet another girl? Was everything you said just empty words? That you would never find a girl like me again in your life? That my body is a work of art? That I’m the most beautiful girl you’ve ever seen?

And I try to be open. I try to be more confident, to tell you how I feel, hoping you would feel the same. But you’re blocking. You’re closed. And I’m telling myself I have to tell you how I feel or it will be too late. Or I’ll regret it because you might feel the same but won’t tell me until I do. And so I’m really trying but you gotta meet me halfway. I tell you that I have strong feelings for you and ask you how you feel about me. You say you like me. Are you serious? Is that all the feelings you have after telling me all of those nice things?

So devil says see I was right. Are you protecting yourself? Do you think a man can’t talk about feelings cause that’s weak? It makes you vulnerable? Well, how do you think I feel? I open up and you not telling me you feel the same hurts so much. And as soon as I start moving on and stop overthinking you send me a text. Are you kidding? You never text me ever and now that I wanna get over you you start?

And I’m feeling happy again and text you back with all my enthusiasm and start thinking again next time I see you I’ll tell you how I feel.

And then you stop again. You don’t text me back for a few days and again I start asking myself. Does he even think about me? How can he say all those nice things but then he’s not responding to my messages?

Am I just imagining all of this? Is it just happening in my head? Or am I wrong?