Back

I’m sitting in the airplane on my way to Paris. I have this weird feeling. This feeling that I had for a couple of days now. It pops up whenever I think about going back home. Two months ago I was excited about going back. I really missed the food and my family. But now? The closer it comes the scarier it gets. It feels wrong. It does not feel right to go back. I hear people in the airplane speaking German. I don’t like it. I don’t want to hear it. It reminds me that I’ll be back soon.

I AM really excited about seeing my sister. But it also means that I’ll be back in Europe after a whole year. And it’s just so close to home. Too close.

It’s funny because these days I’m calling a lot of places home. It feels like I’m not done with travelling yet. I do know that going back doesn’t mean I’ll be staying. But still. It IS going back. And who wants to go back after all? After moving forward for a while? It kinda feels like Australia never happened. Like I’ve never been away after all. But I know it did. And it changed me. And that’s the scary part. I have changed but home hasn’t. I have grown but my friends didn’t. And I have moved on but home is still the same. How will the new me adapt to the old home? I don’t know. I hope it will be alright but my feeling says that I should leave again as soon as I can. And that’s my plan. That’s why I go back. Because sometimes you have to go back to move forward. And I know I’m not ready to settle yet. Who knows? Maybe I will never be ready to settle anywhere. One day I will find out. And I can’t wait to share that amazing journey with you!

***this text was written on 4th of March, 2020***