Reflection on Spain

27.6. 18:00 + 4.9. 15:58
I’m sitting at the airport once again. In two hours I will be sitting on a plane to Austria. My feelings? Mixed. Even though I’ve learned that I should take some time to “feel my feelings”, I’m too afraid right now. So as always, I turn to writing. Usually the words come fast to my mind, but this time it’s hard for me to write them down. Where do I start after such a long time? How can I summarize two and a half years of living in Valencia in one simple blog post? I’ll give it a try.
I remember my arrival so well. I don’t think I’ll ever forget New Year’s Eve of 2023. I met some cool guys at the hostel I was staying at and we welcomed 2024 at Plaza del Ayuntamiento. My first time in the centre of Valencia, a popular meeting point I would use a lot in the following years.

• “Hola”
• “Qué tal”
• “Gracias”
• “Por favor”
• “De dónde eres”

These simple expressions and a few more were my Spanish skills at that time. I knew the best way to learn a new language is to speak it, so I signed up for Yoga and boxing classes to get in touch with it as fast as I could. I also signed up for Language Exchange events. I made my first friends. Not all friendships would last and this was just one of many learning experiences I had. I started to really dive into self-help books which was the beginning of my personal growth. I also met my ex-boyfriend after being single for nine years, which surely played a part in how I learned the language so quickly. But let’s give credit where credit is due: I really studied a lot with my self-study book and just put myself out there wherever I could. I joined some hobby football players and I remember how I didn’t understand anything in the beginning. Not at Yoga, nor boxing or football, nor anywhere else. But soon enough, my Spanish got better and within three months I was already fluent, obviously on a beginner’s level. It’s been two and a half years now and I still receive compliments every now and then, which surprises me because I feel like speaking a language well after two years isn’t really hard if you live there and put your mind to it.

Even though I knew from the first moment I set foot in Valencia that I wouldn’t spend the rest of my life there, I never could have imagined how hard leaving would be. All my life I’ve been moving around, my biggest move was in 2019 to Australia, where I stayed a little less than a year. So I was used to saying goodbye and building a new life. But in your twenties, your frontal lobe isn’t fully developed yet and you have a somewhat limited way of thinking. I’d say that you live life less aware. Maybe age isn’t the only factor to play here, I’m very sure the books played an even bigger part in making me aware that I wasn’t really living a very conscious life. I was always in functioning mode, pushing my mind and body to their limits whenever it was possible. I can’t believe how much I changed. I don’t want to say that my time in Spain is solely responsible, because Australia is definitely what got the ball rolling. Spain took me to the next level of my personal development. Let’s take a closer look.

• Personality: Before I arrived in Spain, I did my two-month roadtrip through Europe and bought some books for the journey. One of them was on sale and was about morning rituals. It would be the first “self-helping” book of many. This particular book had a recommendation for another one called “The Child in you” by Stefanie Stahl. Today I can say that said book was the most important one so far in helping me to become the person I am today. It’s a great tool to uncover your behaviour patterns and it gives you great tips on how to change them. It should be the beginning of my therapeutic work (on myself). What followed was many more books, meditation, therapy podcasts, a breathwork session and even hypnotherapy. Today I’m as comfortable and happy in my own body as I’ve ever been. I’m also on another level of confidence. I learnt that words can only hurt you if you believe them, so when you know your worth, no one can make you doubt it. I also learnt that it’s probably a lifelong journey to work on yourself (unless you’re not interested in getting better). I had to accept that my eating disorder was not cured because it’s nothing that can be cured. It’s a part of me and I can get abstinent from compulsive eating behaviour, but I can never be cured. I’ll have to continue to apply the helpful tools I learnt to stay abstinent. The most recent one I discovered is Overeaters Anomyous, which is the same organisation as Alcoholics Anonymous. The name though is not fitting because it’s not only for overeaters, but for any person with compulsive eating behaviour.

• Physical Health: This part goes hand in hand with mental health. In Spain it was the first time in my life I did sport regularly for more than three months. Before, I would often start something but always quit after a few weeks. Not only did I go to Fitboxing twice a week and played football almost every Saturday, but I also worked out at home and walked a lot. Through therapy and the books I read, I managed my eating disorder and was able to change my eating habits. Also thanks to the Spanish culture where everything is more relaxed and people eat super slow. These new healthy eating habits led to a big weight loss. I finally weighed the same as when I was a teenager, something I’ve been dreaming of for a long time, but never dared to think it was possible. Spoiler alert: This was in 2024, my first year in Spain. In 2025 I relapsed. Honestly, I needed the relapse to find out that my healthy habits depend on my mental health. I can never get anywhere physically if I’m not doing good mentally. 2025 was a difficult year for me, but I do believe we need those years to learn and to appreciate the good times. Today I’m glad that I’m back on track. I might not be where I was two years ago, but I’m not pressuring myself anymore. I know it takes time and that my mental health is the most important thing to take care of. The rest follows automatically.

• Friendships: Spain also taught me a lot about friendships. For the first time in my life, I actually ended friendships in a respectful manner instead of ghosting because I know how shitty it feels when someone does that to you. The work I did on myself also helped me to see that and made me aware that I owe an explanation to the other person. Mostly I figured out that I don’t want to spend my time with people who are not a 100. And with that I mean people who are not on the same level as you. I’m not saying someone is higher or lower, just that everyone has a different level. Like parallel. For me it’s all about energy. Anyone can have a bad day, but if someone takes more energy than they give you for a sustained period of time, it’s just not worth spending your time on them. In my opinion, time is the most precious thing we have, so I really intend to spend it in the best possible way.

• Relationships: Although friendships are also relationships, I’m talking about romantic relationships now. And in that aspect I probably had my biggest learning experience. In March I ended my two-year relationship with my ex-boyfriend. Looking back now, I still can’t believe how much longer I stayed than I should have, but I have to say that I’m truly grateful for this experience because I know it will help me a lot in the future. And honestly, it has already helped me with guys I met since the breakup. I know now what to watch out for and how my own reactions influence situations. I made a list with negotiable and non-negotiable things. I’m not saying it will protect me from everything, but I’m certain it will help me realise faster when to let go of someone. At this point, I’d like to thank my friends, who are great advisors, and I’m saying this so anyone who reads this doesn’t hesitate to ask their friends for advice. Obviously, any decision is up to you, but good friends tell you things you might not want to hear, and they can help you see things more clearly by giving you the outside perspective that you are missing when you get to know someone new because the dopamine is really clouding your judgement sometimes.

• Professional: With regards to my career (if you can call it that), I also had a huge learning experience. It was always super important to me to have a fixed income, a steady job and just financial stability. When I moved to Australia, I organised the job before I even got the visa. After a few months in Spain, a lot of the friends I made left, so I started looking for new connections by using the NomadWay App. Not only did I find friends there, I also entered the world of Digital Nomads. I learnt, that there are countless opportunities out there. One of my highlights was being invited to be a speaker at the Alicante Nomad Summit. It was such a cool event, that I joined it again this year as an attendee. My desire to go to Latin America led to the termination of my job and therefore my stable income. At first, I was worried, but thanks to all the stories I heard from the people of the Digital Nomad Community, I knew the world wouldn’t end. Life always works out somehow and after being employed for more than half of my life, I feel good taking a break. It also gives me the opportunity to invest more time in my projects, like writing another book and launching another podcast. I now also have the time to volunteer, which is something I’ve been wanting to do for ages. Once more life pushed me out of my comfort zone and steered me into a new direction. I also learned that money comes and goes and you shouldn’t worry too much about it. You can actually live very cheaply and I’m very sure that Latin America will teach me even more.

• Travellling: Speaking of Latin America brings me to travelling. I never travelled as much as I did during my time in Spain. I would take trips here and there, but I feel like in Spain I travelled almost every month, sometimes even more often. Australia played a role in that. After leaving, there was a moment where I felt like I missed out on some places down under. So when I moved to Spain, I just knew that I wanted to see as much of the country as I could. And I sure did. From the Northern Region to Andalusia to the Canary Islands, I’ve pretty much been everywhere. I also booked a free tour when I arrived in Valencia because I noticed that once you live somewhere, you tend to get too comfortable and don’t really explore the place. If you move somewhere for a longer period of time you think you can visit the local things later, but I say do it now. Explore your own city like a tourist and see what it has to offer. Also it doesn’t need to be expensive. Also explore your country. Take a bus and visit new cities and towns. It doesn’t have to be expensive. You can buy food in supermarkets and sleep in hostels. And never doubt if you should book the trip. Regretting having booked a trip is unheard of.

• Disconnecting: Another thing I’ve thought about a lot, especially in recent months, was how much time I spend on the phone and particularly on social media. So I implemented a few things: I use an app blocker that blocks certain social media and game apps in the morning, through the night and in the evening, so when I wake up or go to sleep these things aren’t the first ones I’m opening. I also started to leave my phone at home more often when taking walks. It’s not worth spending a good amount of your time on social media looking at what other people are doing, it’s better to go out and live your own life. Meditation is also helpful to disconnect. It taught me to not get angry, upset or aggravated with things I can’t control like the weather. I don’t want to waste energy on things that don’t matter, for example if someone speaks loudly on public transport, if kids cry or other things. If you’re really open, meditation will help you to block those things out.

You can see: My time in Spain really taught me a lot.

Sometimes I wonder: Why am I like this? Why can’t I just stay at one place and enjoy it? I just can’t settle down somewhere knowing there’s so many places in the world I haven’t seen yet. But it seems like the older I get, the harder it gets. The life I built in Valencia was incredible. Even though I moved around a lot, I’ve met so many incredible people (surprise: most of them from Latin America) who make it super hard for me to leave. I found a family and I never felt so loved in my life. With all the friend-, relation- and situationship breakups I learnt how important it is to surround yourself with the right people. People who share your core values but also challenge your opinions. People who give you the same amount of energy that you give them. People who cherish you at every step of your way. People who love and accept you for who you are. I feel so blessed that I found such people. The thing I appreciate the most is that I know no matter where I go and what will happen, I now have another home I can come back to. Words can never express how grateful I am.

My time in Valencia in numbers:

• Endless times swam in the sea
• 30 cities visited
• 6 therapists tried
• 5 times moved places
• 3 birthdays celebrated
• 2 times got my heart broken
• 1 time got scammed
• 0 times stepped into dog shit
• 0 times being robbed

PS: Only people who lived in Valencia know, what a great accomplishment the last two are!