Time To Say Goodbye

So here I am. The day is finally here. The day to say goodbye.

Everybody who knows me, knows that saying goodbye is something I really hate. So I tried to smile and play cool, and I got through with it. Through my best friend. Through my mum and dad. Through my grandma. Through my brothers and aunts. Through my friends. But through my sisters? Without tears?

It was one thing to say goodbye to my younger sister. She lives in Paris so I’m kinda used to say goodbye to her but still I couldn’t hold back my tears when she started crying.

But really the hardest part was my older sister. She brought me to the airport today together with my niece. We were laughing and playing cool. Two hours in the car. Till we reached the airport. Till this sick feeling came up. This feeling when you barley can breathe and want nothing more than to throw up. And you can’t eat or drink. This feeling. I never had this feeling before. When there are no words to say because your emotion is saying everything.

My older sister was always there for me. She was there when I was in school. When my parents got divorced. When I grew older, and didn’t know how to use cosmetics or what clothes are cool to wear. When I started going to clubs. When my heart was broken. Whenever I needed something, she was there. How can you say goodbye to that person? The person who raised you?

Honestly? You can’t. You can’t. There are no words. There are only emotions. She knows what she means to me but I want to tell the whole world. Without her I wouldn’t be the person I am today. Without her I wouldn’t do what I’m doing today. And I’m pretty sure if she hadn’t told me today that this was the right thing to do. I would have grabbed my bags and stayed at home.

So thank you big sis for being you.

And of course thanks to all my family and friends who support me and sayed goodbye. I love you all.